Let’s start with honesty: I enjoy a drink. I always have. There’s a warmth to it, a social ease, a gentle unwinding at the end of a long day. Many of us feel the same. But over the years, I’ve come to understand more clearly what alcohol actually does to our brain, our body, and our mood. And with that understanding has come a shift in how I approach it, not just with more awareness, but with more respect.
Why We Enjoy Alcohol
Alcohol affects the brain by increasing levels of dopamine and endorphins - chemicals that make us feel good. That initial glass of wine or pint of beer can make us feel more relaxed, sociable, and confident. It lowers our inhibitions, which is partly why it’s so linked to celebration, connection, and fun.
In fact, alcohol can create a genuine sense of reward. We enjoy the buzz. But as with anything that makes us feel good quickly, it’s easy to lose sight of when we’ve had enough.
Something I learned from my Italian wife changed the way I think about it. She encouraged me to have an idea of the effect I wanted, in my case, relaxation - and then notice when I got there. For me, that point is after two drinks. Beyond that, I’m not getting more relaxed. I’m just chasing a feeling that’s already come and gone.
What Alcohol Does to the Body and Brain
Alcohol is a depressant. That means it slows down messages between the brain and body. After a few drinks, our heart rate and breathing slow, and our ability to make clear decisions drops. Our coordination, balance, and memory start to fade a little too.
Over time, regular drinking can change brain chemistry. The brain adapts to the presence of alcohol, and eventually needs more of it to get the same effect. That’s when patterns of dependency can start, not necessarily addiction straight away, but drinking without really choosing to.
Alcohol and Sleep
Many people believe alcohol helps them sleep. It’s true that it can help us fall asleep faster, but the quality of that sleep is much worse.
Alcohol interferes with REM sleep: the deep, restorative part of the sleep cycle. That’s why even if you sleep for a full eight hours after drinking, you may wake up feeling groggy, anxious, or low.
This is especially important to know if you’re drinking “to relax.” Because while alcohol might help you feel calmer in the short term, it can increase anxiety the next day. That’s partly due to disrupted sleep, but also because alcohol depletes neurotransmitters like serotonin. You can wake up tired, jittery, and flat. The “hangxiety” is real.
When Drinking Becomes a Crutch
Having a drink to celebrate is one thing. Having one because you’re stressed is another. The danger isn’t in the drink itself, it’s in what you’re asking it to do.
Using alcohol to cope with work pressure, boredom, or low mood sets up a pattern: “I feel bad → I drink → I feel better → I drink again next time I feel bad.” Over time, this becomes habit, then reliance. The line between enjoyment and dependency isn’t always clear, but one sign is when alcohol becomes the default response to negative emotion.
I’ve been there. I used to drink too much. I know how it happens. You start with a drink to wind down, then another to keep that buzz going. But what I think happens to a lot of us is this: we reach a happy place, then keep drinking to stay in that place, but we don’t. We actually move past it. The joy fades, clarity disappears, and we end up somewhere we didn’t intend to be. Not relaxed, but dulled. Not sociable, but sloppy. Not happy, but hollow.
Northern vs. Southern Attitudes
There’s a theory I often come back to - there’s a cultural difference between the colder, northern parts of Europe and the warmer, southern Mediterranean countries when it comes to alcohol.
In places like Italy, Spain, and Greece, alcohol is woven into daily life, often with food, in small amounts. It’s completely normal to drink, but not to be drunk. The goal isn’t to escape, it’s to enjoy. There’s less of a binge culture and more of a moderation mindset.
In the UK and other northern countries, alcohol often comes with a different attitude: drink to unwind, to let loose, to escape. The result is that many of us see “being drunk” as a normal endpoint, rather than a sign we’ve gone too far.
So What’s the Message?
This isn’t about judgement. It’s about awareness. If you enjoy a drink, enjoy it. But take a moment to ask what you want from it. Are you chasing relaxation, connection, or confidence? Have you already got what you came for after one or two drinks? If so, maybe that’s the right time to stop.
Also be honest about patterns. Are you drinking to deal with stress, sadness, or loneliness? Is it affecting your sleep, your mood, or your energy the next day? These are gentle warning signs worth listening to.
I still drink. I just drink differently now. I pay attention to how it makes me feel, not just in the moment, but the next day too. Because while alcohol might give us something short-term, it also takes something if we’re not careful - energy, clarity, and peace of mind.
So maybe the healthiest attitude isn’t to quit completely. It’s to know what you want from alcohol, recognise when you’ve got it, and then, just maybe, put the glass down.
